Neurodivergent Therapist in NYC:
Therapy for Adults With
ADHD, Autism, & AuDHD
Jessica Healy, LMHC, LCPC
Therapy in NY, MA, ME, FL
I’m a late-identifying neurodivergent therapist and enjoy working with clients who exhibit features of ADHD, autism, and AuDHD. There’s a good number of “neurospicy” folks in NYC, perhaps drawn to the stimulation and creative inspiration of the city. The diverse chaotic mess of the city is the perfect place to begin appreciating the many unique ways we all process things.
Maybe it never even crossed your mind until recently that you might be neurodivergent, since you somehow managed to keep up with things for so long. But the exhaustion eventually catches up with you, no matter how smart and capable you are. It’s getting old having to work twice as hard as everyone else to be OK, and the isolating crashouts keep getting worse and more frequent.
Therapy with someone who “gets it” can be extremely validating. Working together, we can learn how your system operates and affirm its differences, allowing your full inner world to safely reveal itself, with less energy spent on camouflaging your differences. We’ll also track its speed, noticing how and when it amps up and winds down.
Please note, I offer psychotherapy for neurodiverse populations, not psychiatry (read: medication), ABA therapy, or neuropsychological testing.
Neurodivergent-Affirming Therapy for Adults
ADHD and autism are both neurodevelopmental disorders that can include overlapping experiences of hyperfocus, sensory differences, executive functioning differences (i.e. organization and task switching), and intense emotionality. They are different in that ADHD may cause novelty seeking, where autistic folks crave routine and sameness. Autism can come with differences in social processing and a need for longer time to process social and environmental cues. ADHD, on the other hand, can cause energy dysregulation, inattention, and impulsivity.
The “spectrum” aspect means that rather than being all-or-nothing, off or on, these traits are exhibited multidimensionally and no one person with ADHD, autism, or AuDHD has the same experience.
Different folks may have different support needs, though those of us that have discovered their neurodiversity later in life may have a hard time knowing when or what they could use support with. After all, we’ve gotten used to handling things on our own, trudging uphill through the snow both ways for years.
Interestingly, some traits of OCD could be said to fall within this spectrum. They would fall closer to autism, around rigid routines and extreme attention to detail.
ADHD Therapist in NYC:
Therapy for Adults With ADHD
Often, when people think of ADHD, they imagine a young male disrupting his elementary school classroom with disruptive behavior. While this stereotype exists for a reason, many people with ADHD slip through the cracks because they do not appear like this.
There’s two types of ADHD: the hyperactive-impulsive type, which fits this stereotype; and the inattentive type (they can also be mixed). This second type can blend in and not be detected when folks are young. After all, in the classroom, the kids who obey and are quiet are prized while those who are disruptive receive the attention which might get them the support they need. Thus, many adults who realize they may be neurodivergent later in life are of the inattentive type. Females often present with the inattentive type or “spaceiness,” which tracks with social norms for women to be pleasant and polite, so often it’s females that realize they have neurodivergent traits when they are older.
People who experience both types of ADHD can arrive at therapy as adults with habitual and adaptive masking behaviors that have helped them continue to blend in and progress vocationally and socially that are now tiring them out. It can be isolating and feel like no one knows the “real you” because you are so accustomed to unconsciously efforting to keep up with your neurotypical peers.
Therapy for Autistic Adults
It’s only in recent years that the stereotype of autism has begun to be dismantled. Most folks with traits of autism are not the nonverbal child who can only eat foods of a certain texture, stimming violently and tantruming under stress. The experience of sensory overload and seeking the comfort of familiar routines and structure show up more subtly, especially in adults.
Autistic adults may blame themselves for becoming overwhelmed in loud settings like concerts or crowded restaurants, or for withdrawing soon after arriving at social events. Everyone else seems to be relaxed – why can’t I just be comfortable?
Most of us can second guess our interactions with people, but for autistic adults, it’s a way of life. Often there is a desire to have the relief of a set of social rules to adhere to as there is rarely a feeling of “rightness” in the natural way they engage with people. They may come up with their own by scripting small talk before interactions and consciously making certain facial expressions to be received well.
Introducing the idea that this may just be the way their brain works can be a relief. It doesn’t mean you’re Rain Man (though often autistic folks’ propensity for becoming engrossed with learning about their favorite subjects allows for incredible depth of expertise), but it does mean that your life could be more easeful by allowing for rather than covering up your processing differences.
AuDHD:
When It Is Both
While ADHD and autism share some features, those who experience both – sometimes called AuDHD – are pulled in two directions at once. They may crave consistent structure in their lives and routines and have a very hard time with change, while at the same time become bored easily, and then the novelty they seek doesn’t allow them to stick to those routines. Their detail-oriented minds may stick to one facet of a conversation, impulsively following a mental path away from a conversation happening in realtime, and then they lose track of the conversation and cover it up with clever questions.
The opposing pull of creative patternmaking of ADHD and the depth-oriented sometimes rigid or detached presentation of autism can make early detection harder, as AuDHD folks don’t fit easily into diagnostic categories.
What Therapy Can Help With
Support for folks with neurodivergence can go beyond life skills, executive functioning coaching, planners, and worksheets. In therapy, as we get to know your system, you can move through neurodivergent challenges such as:
Masking
& Neurodivergent Burnout
Masking can be so elusive because it happens without you even knowing it. Sometimes a lifetime of energetic highs and exhausting crashouts can leave you thinking something is wrong with you. It turns out that once you can name your particular sensitivities and differences, you can build your own supports and move through life with more ease, even in a neurotypical world.
Masking and burnout happen with both ADHD and autism, with masking for ADHD revolving more around performance and focus; and with autism it’s more around social cues and sensory overstimulation.
Somatic Therapy & IFS
for Neurodivergent Adults
Somatic work is possible for folks with speedy and/or highly structured minds! I love how neurodivergent folks’ minds make infinite creative connections and track patterns that others might miss. Therapy can be a place that welcomes your tangents and depth, while also pulling back to notice the ebb and flow, the when and how, of these tendencies.
Grounding through the body can be useful, if body sensations are accessible to you, to help get to know your somatic “tells” to help predict burnout. Practicing slowing down enough to feel embodied, even for just a moment, provides your system with an alternative experience. Often, because of neurodivergent folks’ knack for hyperfocus, tuning into your internal somatic world can turn into an adventure more vibrant than neurotypical folks are capable of, filled with images and memories, evoking wild connections you never would have guessed are hiding in there.
Therapy, Not Testing: Working Alongside Your Prescriber
Therapy is my passion. Neuropsychological testing/assessment is not, so you won’t find that here. I’m also not a medical doctor or psychiatric nurse practitioner, so if you are looking for medication for ADHD, stimulant or otherwise, again, I’m not your girl. I’m happy to refer you to trusted colleagues for those services and collaborate with your current medical providers.
Stimulant medication, in particular, works extremely well for ADHD. It’s unfortunate that widespread misuse of it has stigmatized those seeking it, as it may be the closest thing psychology has to a “magic pill,” with far better efficacy in treating ADHD symptoms versus a placebo than the efficacy of SSRIs versus placebo for depression. (It’s apples and oranges, I know, but worth noting.) Not everyone is interested in medication, but I support my clients who are, and believe it’s important to coordinate care with prescribers.
Regarding testing, I have found that folks’ lived experience of neurodivergence is enough evidence for me to fold it into our therapy together. I don’t require having a formal (and often expensive) diagnostic test. Your own experience is valid. However, if testing would be useful to further validate your experience, or you need it for school or work accommodations, definitely go for it. Keep in mind, though, that sometimes symptoms may be considered “subclinical” when forced to be quantified for tests; for this reason, I know a number of folks who have felt invalidated by neuropsychological testing because it did not confirm their lived experience.
Online Neurodivergent Therapy
in New York, Massachusetts, Florida and Maine
I see most of my neurodivergent clients online for convenience, offering virtual psychotherapy to clients in:
- New York
(Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens) - Massachusetts
(Boston area, North Shore, Western Mass.) - Maine
(Portland, Falmouth) - Florida
(Miami, Ft. Lauderdale)I am available to work with coaching clients anywhere in the world.
In-person sessions are available in Portland, ME, as well as twice per year in Brooklyn, NY.
Frequently Asked Questions About Neurodivergent Therapy
What does a neurodivergent-affirming therapist do?
A neurodivergent-affirming therapist creates a therapeutic space that takes into account neurodevelopmental processing differences. For example, I will not expect or demand that neurodivergent clients organize the way they tell their story in a particular way to ease my experience as a listener, or that clients express certain experiences verbally. We may talk about these sorts of habits on a “meta” level, discovering what triggers them and whether they serve a purpose. I also take into account rejection sensitivity, and not judging that neurodivergent folks may have a lower threshold for being triggered. Your sensitivities are a gift.
We can work together to create a therapy space that allows for free expression. That may mean having fidget toys, walking on a treadmill during sessions, doing phone sessions when the visual stimulation of video is too much, etc.
Do you work with both ADHD and autism?
Yes! I have clients who have ADHD, AuDHD, and autism. All types of neurodivergence are welcome!
Do you diagnose ADHD or autism, or prescribe medication?
Nope! You are welcome to pursue a neuropsychological assessment for a formal diagnosis and psychiatric care for medication. I will work collaboratively with your other providers.
Do I need a diagnosis to start?
No! Your lived experience of neurodivergent traits is enough to make its impact a priority in our therapy.
Diagnosis is a funny thing: some folks find it validating, organizing particular aspects of their unique lived experience, and making them feel like they’re not crazy; others can see it as stigmatizing – “putting them in a box,” so to speak – and proof that they are, in fact, crazy and there’s something wrong with them. Being neurodivergent definitely does not mean there is something wrong with you; there is just a different way you walk through the world.
What diagnosis is undeniably useful for is accommodations for work and school.
What is ADHD masking?
Masking is unconscious camouflaging of processing differences. It is how neurodivergent folks adapt to the demands of a neurotypical world. This can look like high performance through time-consuming perfectionism and attention to detail, always arriving early so you don’t arrive late, or making scripts for small talk before social situations.
Read more about this in my blog article: ADHD Masking: What It Looks Like In ADHD and Autism
ADHD Coach vs. Therapist: what is the difference?
ADHD coaches work on practical life skills and organizational habits. If the impact of your neurodivergence is making your life admin unmanageable, coaching can be helpful.
Therapy with me can definitely include aspects of ADHD/executive functioning coaching, though we work mostly at getting to the root of ADHD: when it flares up the most and the secondary impact of neurodivergent traits on relationships and day to day functioning. Examples include anxiety around deadlines or social events, or depression around feeling isolated, different, or “alien.” ADHD and autism often have co-occurring conditions that many need exploring.
Do you offer therapy online?
Yes! I offer therapy online for residents of New York, Massachusetts, Maine, and Florida.
